The Chain of Uncertainty
My hope for you is this; that you will receive the gift of perseverance in the midst of uncertainty. Will you choose to overcome even when people say you can’t?
There are many people who succumb to adversity but I couldn’t afford to be one of them. It seemed like ever since I was a child my chains were heavier than most but it became the norm for me. I actually can’t imagine my life without them.
Uncertainty, doubt and confusion always come with unfortunate circumstances, however the longer I faced and eventually overcame those (once hard) circumstances, the less doubt and uncertainty I had in my ability to overcome again.
It is now my understanding that Uncertainty is both hard to carry and essential to have.
I truly believed that the Chains I was carrying were finally starting to Break in my teenage years. So as my journey continued I chose to open my first business; “BREAKING THE CHAIN”, in 2014 which was to show others that we all have opposition just as much as we have access to freedom. I enjoy my mission to encourage (or motivate) others through sharing real-life experiences.
But what happens when “life” gets in the way of doing what you love to do?
In June of 2016 I had a life-altering experience, one in which I could have lost my life. I was involved in an MVA (motor vehicle accident) that was unavoidable. An uninsured, probably under the influence, second-year university student struck my car at 180KM/hr. The SUV I was driving, in partnership with the barrier on the HWY, saved my life. I remember that moment happening so quickly, thinking that I may not survive. Life became precious in that fragile moment as I realized that I had no control over life or death.
As a driven young professional with goals, it was really hard to accept that I needed to slow down and heal. The pain wasn’t just physical, it affected my emotional and mental state as well. Every week I pushed myself through hours of treatment and reliving the experience with lawyers, doctors, Councillors, Physiotherapists, Psychotherapists, Personal care support, Occupational therapists, Rheumatologists. Neurologists… The list goes on. They could only come to one general consensus….
“Girl, you are messed up! “
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and from a legal standpoint, it is serious and permanent. I took six weeks off work as per the doctor’s recommendation and it was the six weeks before my mom passed away on October 29th. This, of course, didn’t help me and to make matters even more complicated, two days later, just before the funeral I was tasked to move into my new 2 bedroom condo I purchased in Toronto.
After the New Year I was still enduring 6 hours of treatment a week, unexplainable mental and physical exhaustion whilst keeping up with Sales Management career covering Eastern Canada. My direct boss realized the level of pain I was in when he had to cut my steak during a business lunch because I was unable to. I was trying… but the Chain of Uncertainty kept getting heavier.
Despite my challenges, by God’s grace, I was still performing, so much so, that I able to close a multi-million dollar deal that was to increase my commissions and double my annual salary. I was excited about the prospect of potentially paying off my condo in record time with this extra income.
There comes a time when you don’t believe anything good can happen in the midst of chaos. At 4:30 on a Friday afternoon I received a phone call and was told that my position had been terminated due to an acquisition. The reality was that my life had drastically changed once again. I was not entitled to any commission passed my termination which meant all my hard work (over 2 years to close) was now a distant memory and a great learning experience.
I had to buy a new car and start a new career in a different industry. Change is good, sometimes one door closes so a better one can open.
Through all these experiences, in just 16 months, I have learned to be grateful for my perseverance in the midst of uncertainty. I could have listened to the doctor when he told me I was depressed, I could have taken disability instead of working for a paycheque I could have given up on my dreams and agreed that I was not capable of beating insurmountable odds. After all, it’s hard to be a motivational speaker when you can’t even motivate yourself.
The great news is, just as a new paragraph in this entry begins, a rainbow can be found after every rainstorm. Our stories are written in chapters, and our triumph in the story is only as great as our struggle. I wasn’t able to participate in my passion, writing blogs or posting videos… Believe me, I wanted to. As an entrepreneur, I always heard the cry in my heart to do what I love but “BREAKING THE CHAIN” had to wait.
Years ago I would have told you that the hardest days of my life were over. I disagree now. The perceived hardest days then prepared me for the hardest days today. The challenges in life will always be there, it’s just the context that is different. Uncertainty is a gift, it gives us hope for better days, it prepares us for the best opportunities ahead and forces you to lean on the strength and leadership of others.
Admit tingly, writing this blog makes me very happy, but it doesn’t do anything if it’s not impacting the one who reads it. What are you going to do with your challenges? Does it put the last 16 months of your life in a better perspective? We all have a story and when we put them on paper they start to look similar. Know that you’re never alone in struggle and you can emerge! After all, the brightest days come after the darkest, never-ending storms.